Open, trusting, intimate relationships are essential for a happy life, and research shows that those who are socially isolated have substantially lower levels of well-being, said Jeff Zhorne, director of The Grief Program.

"Unfortunately, unresolved grief and loss experiences can block access to your happiness. Loss on top of loss on top of loss, often beginning from the earliest ages, contribute to a collection of hurt, anger and mistrust over a lifetime," said Zhorne. "Our aliveness and spontaneity are eaten away, relationships become limited and restricted, we become tentative and guarded. Some wind up isolating and withdrawing from the world."

Studies show the average person will encounter 42 potential loss experiences, ranging from loss of job and loss of health to death and divorce, said Zhorne, director of the Santa Clarita Valley-based program. "If these losses are not resolved appropriately, pain and melancholy begin to erode our mental and physical health and the lives of those around us," he said. "It's like a low-grade infection sets in."

Zhorne is personally and painfully acquainted with loss. Eighteen years ago his two children, ages 4 and 2, died in a tragic auto accident in England.

"It was terrifying, I was utterly helpless, I didn't know where to turn," Zhorne said.

People tried to help by offering him phrases of supposed comfort such as, "Be grateful you still have your wife," "It could've been worse" and "You just have to let go and move on." Let go of what? Move on to where? Zhorne asked himself.

"I looked everywhere for help. Trouble was, most books either told me how I was feeling, which I already knew, or offered advice for getting through the day.

I tried to intellectualize my grief and think myself well. But you can't fix a broken heart with your head," he said.

After much education and training, and by sheer providence, Zhorne made many discoveries about the process of completion and emotional healing. The result is The Grief Program. Its mission is to help hurting people heal the emotional pain in relationships that have ended or changed. "This program provides tools to get unstuck and resolve loss sooner and more completely than any method I know," he said. "It gives hope and a way out of the dark."

After attending the program, one user, who requested anonymity, wrote: "I can't say enough about how important this work is for everyone. We all suffer loss and regret. We even inherit grief. This program helped me to see all the elements of grief patterns and how powerful those feelings can be. I will use these tools throughout my life to get complete with loss and grief relationships."

Another anonymous user said: "I have learned to no longer live in the past and to let go of the emotional baggage. This summer was very productive for me. I got things done that I have been trying to do for years. I am no longer weighed down with ‘stuff.' My kids are doing great because I am doing better."

The program is not only for those experiencing the loss of a loved one, but also divorce. "The emotional pain of a divorce is intense," said Jessica D. after the program. "The fact that the death of a relationship comes, yet both parties are alive, makes it even more traumatic. I am so thankful to The Grief Program for providing the tools necessary to move past the loss. I feel alive again."

The Grief Program is offering a free community presentation on the tools and skills needed for working through significant emotional loss of any kind at 7 p.m., Wednesday, Sept. 9, in the office of Elena Michaels, 24509 Walnut St., Suite 104, Newhall. For more information, call The Grief Program at (661) 733-0692.