Problem is widespread
Murray, a Harvard Law School graduate, a Vanderbilt legal writing professor and Realtor, has been travelling the country trying to get her message across - divorce your house.

"The general idea is not to have any joint ownership (of the home) after the divorce," she said. "Especially in this economic climate, everybody assumes it's safer to keep the house."

Local company Exit Realty SCV brought Murray to the valley this week to speak on the issue. As the owner of Exit Realty SCV, Patrick Raach has seen Carrie's scenario and other devastating scenes like it all too often in the Santa Clarita Valley.

"It definitely affects every divorcing homeowner," Raach said. "Most of the time when I find out about the issue, it's after it's too late."

A classic example is one in which the wife keeps the house, Raach said. The husband rents an apartment and then loses his job.

The wife may have bought her ex-husband out of the house in the property agreement, but both their names remain on the joint mortgage.

"Now this wife struggling to stay in this house is in a bigger problem because they can't make their payments," said Raach, owner of Exit Realty SCV.

The all-too-often results are hidden debt, damaged credit ­ -which no court can repair, Murray adds ­- foreclosure or bankruptcy, she said.

"Any or all those things can happen to you," she said. "The point of divorce is to dissolve that relationship, so why stay tied through your finances?"

Keeping your house can be more dangerous after a divorce than selling it, Murray said.

"To protect yourself and your financial future, make sure you know what you owe, what you own, what you are getting into, what you are getting out of, and most importantly - what you may be getting stuck with before it's too late," Murray warns on her Web site www.divorcethishouse.com.

Tough love
The house is considered one of the most dangerous aspects in a divorce for a reason: emotions. But Murray urges divorcing couples not to let the "emotional cloud" blur the importance of finances.

"We call it tough love and the tough comes first," she said.

And the tough part is the finances.

Divorcing couples with children often translate keeping a "stable environment" for their kids to mean "I need to keep this home for my children," Murray said.

So they'll keep the home without examining its condition or worth and what kind of risk it is to keep it.

Murray has seen enough uninformed decisions that end in foreclosure and short sales.

But her message isn't simply that divorcing couples should never keep their home. But that any decision in the property settlement - a binding contract - should be an informed one.

"There's a lot of due diligence you need to complete before you make that decision," she said. "Get more information from financial and real estate experts in your divorce process."

If one party keeps the home, the other has to get their name off of the joint mortgage, Murray said.

The spouse that keeps the house must refinance, she said.

"Either your spouse individually refinances or you sell the house," Murray said.

Getting help
Some help is free, while other assistance such as a home inspection is fee-based. But all of it is necessary, Murray said.

She once met a divorced mother who kept the home for the kids.

"Three months later, she discovered she can't afford it," Murray said. "She gave up half the equity in the divorce agreement."

When the mother tried to sell the home, a property inspector found $60,000 worth of cracks in the foundation.

"Because she didn't discover it till after the divorce, her house was valued too high in the divorce," Murray said. "So she is the only one responsible to make (that repair)."

The best time to secure your financial future is before a divorce, Murray said. Unfortunately, that realization often comes too late.

Free mortgage counseling allows divorcing couples to decide whether to keep or sell the home, Murray said. It's also important to consult with real estate agents.

"Realtors can refer you to all the professionals that will help you make an informed decision," Murray said.

"Another piece of free information comes from your insurance agent," she added. "You need to know how risky your home is."

Looking back, Carrie wishes she had garnered more information before the divorce was settled.

"They thought they had the option of waiting and they really didn't," Murray said referring to Carrie's situation. "They needed to look into that information and decide then."

Carrie had an attorney in the mediation process, but it ultimately wasn't enough.

"I felt like I had surrounded myself with people that should know this information," she said. "Unfortunately, not so much."

Moving on proves difficult when their home continues to hang over her head, Carrie said. She and her ex-husband are now selling their home.

"Now we are putting it on the market at this horrible terrible time because we're stuck at this point," she said.