Don’t Take Me Seriously
jwalker@the-signal.com
Posted: June 25, 2009 2:38 p.m.
My calendar says that Sunday, June 28 is Paul Bunyan Day.
Seriously.
You know, legendary oversize lumberjack, gigantic blue ox, cleared entire states of trees, dug the Great Lakes, yadda, yadda. Big guy, big deeds, got a holiday.
But my calendar doesn't specify where it's Paul Bunyan Day. For sure it is in South Lyon, Mich. I know for a fact the Lyon Township Public Library is celebrating the day. Of course, the library is celebrating by being closed - but it is nonetheless celebrating. Everyone will probably be out chopping down trees.
My calendar doesn't specify the holiday is confined to any lumberjacking town - or even any heavily-forested state. It just says it's Paul Bunyan Day. So it follows that, since my calendar is right here with me, we should observe the holiday this Sunday in the SCV.
Who knew? Who had time to plan a celebration?
Maybe we could have a tree-chopping competition along Wiley Canyon Road.
But hold off on that. I'll check with the city first. I don't see Paul Bunyan Day on the city of Santa Clarita calendar.
However, I submit that, since Paul Bunyan was a lumberjack, and lumber is crucial to the manufacture of paper, and paper is vital to a newspaper - The Signal should officially recognize Paul Bunyan Day. Since it falls on a Sunday, I'll take Monday off with pay, thank you.
But it makes you wonder. Who decides a holiday is a holiday?
Well, for federal holidays that would be the United States Congress or the President of the United States. They, however, seem to be balking at setting aside Paul Bunyan Day.
This is probably because of pressure from representatives of desert states, who want Cactus Jim Day or some such, instead.
So how did June 28 become Paul Bunyan Day? Maybe the same way it became National Tapioca Day, which is a fact that isn't shown on my calendar.
June 28 is also the day for The Great American Backyard Campout, and Insurance Awareness Day. While the former seems like it could cohabitate with Paul Bunyan Day, the latter smells like fish - especially when you learn that, on Insurance Awareness Day, insurance salespeople are statistically more likely to call with policy pitches than any other day of the year. Hmmmmn.
So who makes these wacky holidays? The answer seems to be just about anybody.
For example, June 28 is also Lend Me an Ear Day. While you might think the day was intended to promote some lofty cause such as body part donation or hearing aids, it is actually set up to encourage "good listening," in relation to Marc Antony's line in "Julius Caesar": "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears."
Who thought this holiday up, the National Coalition of Frustrated Summer Stock Actors?
And you realize just how loose this holiday-designation thing is when you find out that June 28 was selected for the day in honor of June 28, 1997, when Mike Tyson bit a chunk off Evander Holyfield's ear.
I kid you not. Somebody is messing with us.
Taking it to the ridiculous, June 28 is also Go Barefoot Around the House Day and Try to Find a Pear Sherbet Recipe Day.
Oh come on!
It's beginning to look like five people in a room agreeing on a holiday makes it a holiday.
On the other hand, if you really want to make it big, holiday-creation-wise, you've got to get a calendar-maker on your team or (ding dong, idea!) go viral on the Internet.
Now I'm not inciting anyone to do anything here, but you keyboard jockeys out there have the know-how. I would kind of like to see one more holiday added to the June 28 list.
We could call it National Anti-Holiday...Day.
How about it? Are you with me?
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